Fred hit the mute button. He scrunched up his beer can and
threw it onto the mountainous pile beside the couch.
Just as he was reaching for another can, a huge violet blob blocked
his view. Given he’d already had a few it took Fred a few seconds to realise
the huge blob was actually his wife. The second clue for this retired member of
Mystery, Inc. was the pile of washing that landed on his lap.
“Fred! Would you quit watching that crap. And I’m done
sorting your greasey work overalls! Can’t you just wear something else at the
garage?”
Fred wasn’t so much paying attention to the words that were
coming out of his wife’s mouth, but the little chocolate bits that were flying
out of it with each exclamation.
“And...munch…you…munch…know it hurts my feelings…munch…when
you watch…munch…old footage of me. I have so many more wrinkles these days,
it’s…munch…just not fair!”
Yes, blame the wrinkles.
Not the 50 pounds of flab rolls for the stark contrast with the youthful
version of his wife playing on the screen. Fred thought it best to keep quiet.
He nestled back into the couch and cracked open another beer.
The loud ring of the phone sounded as Fred found the remote
again…“Well you know they would have gotten away with it, if it hadn’t of been
for us meddling kids…”
In a darkened street corner, not too far from the suburban
sprawl in Coolsville,
Scooby lit up his cigarette. He watched as Shaggy crawled
down a vine terrace, from the opened attic window. “You seen anything yet?” whispered Shaggy as
he scanned the darkness with his torch. Scooby shook his head and Shaggy ducked
beneath the bush.
Moments later he appeared clutching two wrapped paintings.
“The other stuff is by the front entrance, be quick Scooby, we gotta be out in
five”. Scooby stuck his nose in the air, “I’ll do it for a Scooby snack”.
Shaggy shook his head as he sarcastically replied “real cute Scooby”. Scooby
took his last puff and tossed the butt into the same bush Shaggy had just
emerged from. The bush went up in a whoosh of smoke. “Better destroy the
evidence, last thing we need is some meddling investigators digging up your
footprints. He strolled across the grass grabbing the remaining items, as he
heard Shaggy scrounging around in his overcoat looking to silence his ringing
phone…
It was an undeniable fact that with her dark bowl haircut, a
face hidden in thickly framed glasses and a shapeless figure dressed like a
tangerine, Velma was often the awkward fifth wheel on the Mystery Machine. If
it wasn’t for her ability to see through an unexplainable crime and unmask
supernatural wannabes, Velma doubted whether she wouldn’t have been stuck at
home on those outings. With a name like Velma Dace Dinkly, Velma didn’t really
think she ever had a choice of the part she played. Three laser eye surgeries
later, a team of hired stylists and one bow-flex body, Velma was done playing
the sweet crime fighter. If you can’t be bothered beating them, join em she
thought as she hung up the phone…
Shaggy and Scooby waited anxiously on the doorstep, staring
at the big knocker. Before they could lift the heavy weight and break the still
air with a bang, the door slowly opened. Shaggy couldn’t help but smile at the
figure standing in the door frame . Gone where the knee high orange socks and
the thick glasses. The Velma that greeted them, as much as her botoxed face
would allow her too that is, was decked out in leather. She turned and led them
down the dimly lit corridor. As they entered the fire lit room Shaggy scanned
the room to find the entire Scooby gang, gathered around the table. “The Scooby
gang back together…munch…one last time”, Daphne laughed as she munched a
chocolate bar.
The flickering fire
gave the room a sinister a feel. Velma sat up from the dining table and without
hesitation began to address the rest of the Scooby gang. Her black leather
glowed against the fire embers. Puzzled looks crossed Daphne’s and Fred’s faces.
All of them asking the same question, “why are we here?”
“I have asked you
here today for one last Scooby hoorah. For years I have played the smart nerdy
one, and have put up with the sympathy looks but enough is enough”. “Tomorrow
night is the Diamond Ball Art Charity Gala… and tomorrow night we will steal
the painting from right under their noses”. Blame it on the botox, but Shaggy
couldn’t decide if Velma was serious enough.
Before he had time to ask, the front door flew open.
Outlined by the flames of the fire, stood five, eerily familiar figures. An
expressionless, yet shocked Velma was the first to speak. “Who do you think you are?” she asked the gang
before her. “Who are we?” laughed the tall blond Fred look-a-like. “Thelma, Jed
,Japhne Rooby and Shag-Lee. We’re the Rooby
Roo gang, ready to bring justice to washed up crime-fighters, like yourself.”
Velma, finding it hard to scowl as she was driven away,
cuffed in the back of a police car, had only one prevailing thought We damn
near would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids.
This was really entertaining to read; an interesting take on the future of one of the greatest cartoons out there.
ReplyDeleteI specifically liked comments such as 'a shapeless figure dressed like a tangerine' because it exaggerated looks in a way that shapes the image of the character in the reader's head.
I also like that you've turned the original storyline into something quite opposite and show that through a famous line of the cartoon's "We damn near would’ve gotten away with it if it wasn’t for those meddling kids".
Thanks gurrl, you sure know how to compliment ;)
DeleteHaha! Now they know what it's like to be on the receiving end of misery! Now that their glory-days are over. This is really amusing to read- although I do feel sorry for them! You've turned it around to make them the angry, resentful ones, and they've all changed pretty much, I do like that, and the descriptions and contrast of Daphne. She's definitely changed!
ReplyDeleteWOW, this should be created as a movie! I liked the contrasts of all the characters. And loved the quotations! Made me laugh the whole way through! The change of time and how different they are was a great idea!
ReplyDelete